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We're Stronger than We Think I am a 58 yr. old woman, mother of two girls, grandmother of seven, and great-grandmother of a 3 yr. old. I am also a recovering alcoholic and drug- addict, 15 yrs. sobriety, God- willing, March 19, 06. started drinking at 15 yrs. old, and was totally dependent on drugs, at 28. My story is like many others, I'm sure. I was introduced to pcp and it became my whole world. I lived and breathed for the next dipper , joint , or bag. It took all the pain away, and I could escape from reality. Dust was a dream come true, for me! I have been to, at least 20 or more trips, to the Psych ward, and a dozen times , that they kept me, and maybe 9 times, court committed. My last trip was the scariest, and I believed I wasn't coming back, and the psych doctors, told my family, "she's too far gone, this time". I put my family through, so much grief. I had 20 or more black-outs, that day. I thought I ran over a kid, was so paranoid, and told my kids to call the police, to see if I did. That's when I had a "spiritual awakening". I was looking around the room to see where I could hang myself, with the IV tube. I had never been to a re-hab before. It's like I knew it was right , then and there, I had no choice, or I was never coming back, or was going to die. Besides, I knew if I took someone out or killed someone driving, I could never forgive myself, I made the right decision, Thank God! Besides I knew, I could continue hurting myself, (which I was on a death wish, anyway) but, didn't have the right to hurt my family, or anyone else, for that ,matter anymore. I hated the re-hab at first, for 2 weeks, the third week was a wreck about leaving, the 4th week , scared to death, to leave. I am so blessed, I had a chance to start over, and to share my story, with so many others. I started a recovery meeting, been to prison to speak, helped numerous other people , so they see there is another and better life after , using drugs. I'm still scared of relapsing, but it's a healthy fear, today. I don't suffer from drugs or alcohol, anymore. I've had some hard times, but who hasn't? Some severe , mental cravings, and some major problems, in life, but not enough reason to relapse. I pray for us all, who come from the depths of hell, and the suffering alcoholics and drug-addicts, that may never have the opportunity to tell their story. People, places, and things , and God, is how I came , this far. May God bless us all. Thanks for letting me share this with you, Angie |