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I have a lot of support from my friends and family I am 30 years old. I come from a family that has a long time running with problems with drinking and using of pain pills. I am like everyone I never thought I had a problem I tired drinking and smoking weed when I was 12 but I didn't like it. My addiction at first was sex, but later it turned to drinking when I got older after my first marriage failed that was all I did to numb out my felling it was no big deal , I wasn't hurting anyone but myself, I was taking care of myself and my kids, but then I kept getting in bad relationships with people that didn't treat me right, so I kept drinking, again no big deal, but then I was with the one person and she turned me on to cocaine whoa I liked this better then drinking, no hangover, we used every once in a while but I really liked how it made me feel, like I had no problems, I still kept drinking and using no big deal, then I moved back home and she also moved back here with me. We both kept drinking a lot that was all we did then he cousin brought crank into the house I tried that even thought I didn't know what it was and I liked how I felt NOTHING AT ALL could touch me, I cleabed and was up all night I even went into work at like 4 30 got all my work done, I loved it I did it a few more times then they moved out and we moved to the south side of town, I was still drinking and going to work, it was no big deal no one was getting hurt, or at least that is what I thought. Then I got introduced to "annie" whoa I thought this was much better I could go for days, I was drinking and using, then I got pulled over and got my first OWI I still thought I didn't have a problem, I made a left hand turn from the middle lane, I was lucky it was so early in the morning, I could have hurt someone, went to jail got out the next day, got probation, then ran, I meet someone else that showed me a different way to use meth, I started shooting up, way I really lost me head I was going CRAZY thinking everyone was after me all the time, one Christmas eve I took the car and drove across town to her mothers house I swear they where going to kill me, well the next day I came home and I blacked out I feel down 4 stairs and broke my foot. anyways long story short we moved out of town and I kept using, I was going crazy, I thought people where outside, then one night I prayed to God please help me, I can't do this anymore, I am tired I lost my job, went crazy there is was bad, so one night we drove next door to the dealers house, STUPID!!! Well I was pulled over, tail light was out, LOL sure, I was driving while barred plus I had a warrant for my arrest, I went to jail I was pissed at first but glad later, I went through treatment in a hospital, then I went to a half way house, it was my choice I told my PO that I was using and he there every step of the way, I know it sounds weird but it was support, I was at the half way house for 101 days, then went into a longer term half way house, and I was there for a year I learned a lot about myself. It hasn't been easy, I am still dealing with it everyday, but I have a lot of support from my friends and family. I know live on my own, yes I have slipped a few times and now again I am dealing with my drinking again, but trying to not drink as much, I found out that my niece and my son tried weed and that scares me. So I want to try to teach then, that you can deal with life without drugs.
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